You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
