I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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