dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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