Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she told me i tasted like america
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
