How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
