i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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