Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
