honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
