I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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