Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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