"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
