I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
