sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
