both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize