Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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