Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
