Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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