I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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