Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
