we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
