Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
