So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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