I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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