At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize