I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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