We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
