is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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