Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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