If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize