sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
