I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
