We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize