hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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