Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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