Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
