oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sext me about skeletons
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
