he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
