There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
foreskin is a definite game changer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
