It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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