Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
