what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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