I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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