youre lurking in front of me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize