pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
