i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
