that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize