it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
