Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
