Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
