:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
