So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
