New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
