I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
