told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
