i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
