sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
