She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
