You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Damn victory sex feels great
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
