Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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