great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The ass gains better be worth it
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