happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
