the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
