never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i've created a new STD.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
