I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
