literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize