i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize