im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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